• On the other hand, you have different fingers.

• "I love cats...they taste just like chicken"

• "I souport publik edekasion"

• "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."

• "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

• I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

• "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

• A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

• Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!

• Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

• Life is too complicated in the morning.

• All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

• The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography

• Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.

• Ask me about my vow of silence.

• "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."

• "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

• "If you don't like the news, go out and make some."

• "I Brake For No Apparent Reason."

• "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

• "I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"

• Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

• Ambivalent? Well yes and no....

• I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....

• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

• Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

• I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

• Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

• Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

• Adults are just kids who owe money.

• Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

• I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

• You!  Off my planet!